If you are passionate about parties, it may be difficult for you to imagine. Why would anyone hate Christmas? But the truth is that the statistics make it clear. According to the I Christmas Observatory of Spain33% of Spaniards say they do not like Christmas. 27% confirm that they like it between a little and not at all. And an alarming 6% directly hate her.

But How is it possible that so many people feel rejected by these dates that, according to theory, are for sharing, enjoying and giving free rein to excitement? Psychology reveals to us what are the causes of this growing aversion to Christmas.

Empty chair syndrome

At the Telephone of Hope they have coined this term to refer to those contradictory emotions that many of us feel during these holidays when we miss a deceased or absent family member, which comes into direct conflict with the festive air of the dates. According to the study we mentioned above, this is the main reason why dates are so hated: nostalgia.. The sentiment increases during Christmas in 60% of women and 47% of men surveyed. Furthermore, 35% of women reported feeling sadder during these dates.

And, although we socially associate Christmas with happiness and harmony, the truth is that not all of us experience these dates the same way. This is stated by Silvia Sumell, a collaborating professor with the Open University of Catalonia. “It depends on the vital circumstances of each of us,” he assures, highlighting how especially conflictive “having loved ones or family members hospitalized, being an immigrant, being deprived of liberty, having very few basic resources, going through a grieving process, feeling alone, having a hard time due to the absence and longing for a loved one, etc.”

To this Christmas nostalgia Added to this is another serious problem that affects us at this time: loneliness, declared a public health problem by the WHO.. A report from the National Statistics Institute reveals that 25% of people over 60 feel lonelier at Christmas than during the rest of the year.

Christmas carol syndrome

It is understandable that, in complicated conditions, Christmas becomes a source of sadness. But And what about those who always hate Christmas, regardless of the circumstances? Some therapists call it Christmas carol syndrome, and as Sumell explains, they refer to “excess consumerism, the obligation to be happy, meeting people we don’t like or with whom we have conflict,” as well as many other things that cause us stress.

Because what a report carried out by Nascia reveals, stress is the second reason why most people hate Christmas. In fact, according to the study, 65% of its participants suffered general anxiety and stress from the days before the holidays until their completion.

Among the main stress factors, participants indicated these as the most worrying:

• Crowds.
• Having to go to a shopping center in the middle of the Christmas season.
• Think about all the money they have to spend.
• Buy gifts for so many people.
• Not knowing what gifts to choose.

This continuous stress, explains Sumell, can cause symptoms that are associated with depression such as “sadness, anger, desire to cry, discouragement, little desire to do things, apathy, irritability, feeling of being more susceptible and, many times, high anxiety.” Nascia experts also claim that the participants in their study also experienced insomnia, headaches, muscle pain, stomach problems, excess negative thoughts, increased irritability and a feeling of lack of control.

How to prevent Christmas from becoming hell?

With all this on top of it, it’s no wonder so many people hate Christmas. But how can we prevent all these emotions from stopping us from enjoying the holidays? For Sumell, the answer is “accept our emotions or feelingseven when they coexist with dates in which we are expected to be happy.”

In addition to giving ourselves “permission” to be sad or not so happy these days, it is important that we differentiate between being or being. Just because you don’t feel like celebrating this holiday season doesn’t make you a Grinch. It is important that you communicate with others, explain why you don’t feel like it, not because you owe it to anyone, but to prevent them from feeling responsible for your discomfort. And above all, “avoid aspiring to perfection at this time.”

The psychologist also recommends “try to organize and do the necessary tasks as early as possible”, since “it is not good to leave everything until the last minute”. Add as recommendations to ask for help if you need it, not wanting to do everything yourself and daring to say no. The figures show that putting these recommendations into practice can improve your relationship with the holidays, becoming part of the 41% of people who say they really like these dates. Or better yet, to that 26% who adore them.