You look at the clock and realize that the time has passed. You’re late. You spill your coffee in the morning, you discover your favorite t-shirt is stained, or you have a plan canceled at the last minute. ¿You get overwhelmed right away or do you stay calm? We all have a limit to losing our temper, but some people’s limit is shorter than others.
But why does this happen? What difference does it make if a person knows how to stay calm in any circumstance? and another gets overwhelmed by the slightest thing? The psychologist Leticia Martín Enjuto explains it to us.
The burden
The first thing we need is to understand what overwhelm is from the perspective of psychology. “When we say that someone feels overwhelmedwe refer to that feeling of being overwhelmed, as if the external or internal demands were too much to be able to handle,» explains Leticia Martín Enjuto. «It is not just about tiredness, but about a state in which the mind and body react with a clear sign of saturation.»
It is as if our system tells us: “It’s too much for me right now«The expert assures that we should not take it as a personal failure, but as a defense mechanism that helps us stop, reflect and seek support. «Therefore, when a person is easily overwhelmed, it does not mean that they are weak,» the psychologist clarifies, «it just means that their alert system is activated more quickly.»
The warning system
People who get overwhelmed easily, therefore, have a more sensitive alert system. As if they had a high-tech sensor that detects problems. And the sensitivity of this sensor depends on a multitude of factors.
“Every person is unique in the way they manage pressure.”«Leticia explains to us. «There are those who, due to temperament or experience, tolerate moments of tension better, while others feel saturated almost immediately.»
The psychologist highlights some causes, such as personality factors (perfectionism, insecurity), to previous experiences of overload that may have left their mark. “There is even a biological basis«, he adds, «since some people have a more sensitive nervous system that reacts more intensely to stimuli.»
In any case, as an expert she recommends “not comparing yourself to others, but understanding what influences that reaction and, from there, learn to develop resources that allow us to better manage the feeling of being overwhelmed”.
Taking action
Even if you know that it is natural and that there is nothing wrong with it, getting overwhelmed easily ends up taking its toll. As Leticia explains to us, overwhelm manifests itself physically. “Many people feel a knot in their stomach, faster breathing, tension in their muscles or a faster heartbeat,” he says. And the worst thing is that it can break out in completely everyday situations.
“The same things do not always overwhelm all people.”«says the psychologist, «but there are certain common factors: work overload, lack of control, chaotic environments or excess responsibilities tend to be frequent triggers.» So… What can we do to deal with the overwhelm? Is it possible to reduce the sensitivity of that sophisticated alarm system?
Leticia Martín Enjuto explains to us that “The first thing is to recognize the trend without judging it«, and, once this is done, implement some tools that can be very useful. The expert recommends some, such as time organization or breathing techniques such as conscious breathing or mindfulness.
“In consultation we work with the cognitive restructuring, he explains to us, “which helps to question thoughts like ‘I’m not going to be able to handle this’ or ‘everything depends on me’, which tend to feed the feeling of saturation.”
Other skills that can help us better manage overwhelm are “learning to prioritize, delegate and ask for help,” says the expert. “It is not about eliminating the burden completely, but to make it manageable and less invasive”
Better safe than sorry
In addition to managing the stress in the moment, we can prevent it, the psychologist explains. To do this, we must “cultivate healthy habits, get enough rest” and surround ourselves with “a good support system.” These, the expert says, “are protective factors that can help strengthen our tolerance to pressure.”
Another factor that can help is “learn to set limits.” And “knowing how to say no and establish priorities prevents the agenda and responsibilities from becoming an impossible burden,” concludes Leticia.