Closing ourselves off from others is complete madness. When we do it we are not protecting ourselves, We are condemning ourselves to be alone. And the problem is that we are designed, biologically programmed, to relate. It is one of the primary needs of every human being, according to psychologist Abraham Maslow. We need to belong to the group, connect with others.
And not only is it a necessity, but it is the fundamental pillar of happiness. This is proven by the Harvard University Study of Adult Development, which discovered that the greatest predictor of happiness in adulthood was meaningful relationships. But why do we still continue to close ourselves off from others? How can we break this cycle? Personal growth expert, Deepak Chopra, explains it to us.
Closing your heart is not the solution
“The less you open your heart to others, the more your heart suffers.”«Dr. Chopra once said. If he is known for anything, it is for defending above all the power of love, an energy capable of transforming everything. The latest scientific research, such as those previously mentioned, proves him right.
So, Why do we close ourselves to love? For fear of being hurt, of having our hearts broken. For fear of being rejected. But… What if that rejection really didn’t talk about you but about the other?
“Both those we love and those for whom we feel rejection are mirrors of us.» explains Deepak Chopra. What bothers you about others is not essentially negative, it is just something that the other sees in you, and that they do not like in themselves. And the opposite also happens. What makes you feel rejected by others is something about yourself that you do not accept.
This changes everything, because it makes us understand that, in reality, there is nothing wrong with us when we are rejected, which reduces the emotional burden of this moment that seems inevitable. And secondly, because it allows us discover love as a source of self-knowledge and continuous learning.
And that is why this is the first of Deepak Chopra’s seven steps to attract true love.
The seven steps to attract true love
The first step, as we have already explained, is to understand that the love you experience is actuallya reflection of the love you experience towards yourself. Therefore, before starting a relationship with anyone, before even agreeing to do a favor, you must ask yourself if by doing so you are loving yourself.
This will help you discover What self-esteem problems, what “holes” in your heart are you trying to cover? with the relationships you build. And this will help you begin to distance yourself from the people who harm you, and get closer to those who fulfill you.
You’ve needed them all
Although some of your past relationships have been marked by possible holes that you were looking to fill, due to a lack of self-esteem, Deepak Chopra assures that all of them have been necessary on your path. From your perspective, Who you are with at all times is always the right person.
That doesn’t mean that he or she is the love of your life, far from it, but that there is something you need to learn from that person. Maybe if you are in a relationship that makes you unhappy You must learn that you have to take care of yourself, love yourself and prioritize yourself.. This does not mean that you should be forever with every person who crosses your path. Lesson learned, it’s time to say goodbye.
Don’t look for the perfect person
The next step that Deepak Chopra proposes in his book The path to love tells us that, If we don’t find the perfect person, it’s because we haven’t become them yet.
Instead of asking others to have qualities that we do not havewe must seek to develop them. In this way, we will fill those “gaps” that we look for in others and attract the right people.
Rewrite your story
If you tell yourself that you will never find love, Chopra explains, you will never find it. The way you tell your story can change your attitudeyour availability and your actions, which will inevitably influence the result. Luckily, you have the power to rewrite your story and tell it differently.
The eBook «Guided Meditations» with audio prepared by Bodymente experts helps you get to know yourself better.
Self-knowledge is the path to love
Love is an inevitable consequence, says the personal growth expert, of your path of self-knowledge. The better you know yourself, the closer you will be to finding that ideal person.. The happier you are with yourself, the happier your relationships will be.
True love and spiritual connection
Dr. Chopra also explains to us that love is a spiritual connection that must be nourished not only materiallybut also spiritually. So, if we do not take care of this part, it is normal that our relationships tend to deteriorate.
Understanding love as a healing form, which is capable of eliminating what makes the body and mind sick, is the next step to finding true love. Because for this to be true and work, it must feed our soul. In the words of the expert, “Being with this person makes me feel better and I make them feel better too.”
Believe in love as a force
Finally, Dr. Chopra reminds us that love is sometimes a matter of faith. If you don’t believe in love, you won’t recognize it, you will let it go. So, to attract him, you must believe in the spiritual force of love. If you practice it, if you love others, if you enjoy love, you will attract it and keep it in your life. Because as the author says, “love does not need a reason, because it speaks from the irrational wisdom of the heart.”
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