From a young age we learn to distrust our emotions. They tell us not to cry, not to let our anger show, that what happens to us is just “childish things.” We grow convinced that to feel is to be weak, that the right thing to do is to repress what moves you and avoid what hurts, in order to continue functioning. To fulfill. To fit in.
But emotions don’t go away by ignoring them.. On the contrary, it encyst. Furthermore, sensitivity is not a defect, it is a talent. Mario Benedettia poet of exquisite sensitivity, summed it up very well with his simple and accurate pen: «The biggest mistake of human beings is trying to get out of the head what comes from the heart.»
Why is it so difficult for us to trust what we feel?
For centuries, Western culture has exalted logic over feeling. Rationalist philosophy, traditional education and the very language that we use daily They push us to see the mind as an objective and impartial judge, and the heart as a capricious child. who must be disciplined. Psychology and neuroscience, however, today dismantle this dichotomy.
Feeling is not irrational. Emotions are adaptive responses that inform us of our deepest needs.. As the neuroscientist Antonio Damasio explains, “we are not machines that think, we are machines that feel and think.» Emotion, in fact, comes before thought, and not the other way around. It is what we have called “intuition” for so many centuries.
The disruption
If feeling comes naturally to us, how is it possible that we reject it so fiercely? The problem, actually, is that sometimes we feel contrary to what we believe.
For example, you might have a deep-rooted belief that you have to work as hard as possible, that that is where a person’s value lies. But after the third 12-hour day, you will feel exhausted and sad. Your body, through emotions, warns you that something is wrong. The mind, which clings to belief, denies that those emotions are valid and should exist. And instead of listening to what you feel, you blind yourself to reason.
When what we feel doesn’t fit what we think we should feel, like loving someone we’re not supposed to love or needing to stop when the world demands performance, we face disruption. We enter into an internal war. We fight to silence the voice of the heart with arguments, distractions and self-deception. But sooner or later, that emotion comes back demanding to be heard.
What we keep silent about makes us sick
Denying what we feel does not protect us, it fragments us. And that fragmentation can have a very high cost. According to studies in clinical psychology, Sustained emotional repression is linked to higher levels of anxiety, somatization, insomniagastrointestinal problems and difficulties in personal relationships.
When we avoid talking about what hurts, the body blames it in the form of muscle tension, fatigue, palpitations or that constant feeling of knots in your stomach.
Accepting our emotions, therefore, is the only possible way. And that doesn’t mean wallowing in them, it means validating them as a legitimate part of our experience. As Carl Rogers said, «only when you accept yourself as you are, do you begin to change.»
Listen to the heart
We cannot ignore talking about poetry when it is Mario Benedetti Who is speaking. Because the truth is that the author is the very proof that listening to the heart always takes us to unexpected, but magical, places.
And under the dictatorship of reason we would avoid making decisions that take us exactly where we need to be. The head that says “don’t fall in love” sentences the heart, to loneliness. The head, which says “you are not prepared”, it deprives us of the experience of falling, getting up and continuing to run. The head, which says “it doesn’t suit you”, takes the poet away from the pen and sits him down to work on finances.
Life is dangerous, there are a thousand things we can do wrong, but the truth is that it is worth making mistakes. It’s worth the risk. Trust the heart and dare to live.
Because the head is not always right. And sometimes, the best way to get it right is to close your eyes and ask your heart. How do you feel when you think about that decision? When you visualize yourself with that person, when you imagine trying to fulfill your dream. What do you feel? Intuition, which is always one step ahead, is a powerful weapon. And when we use our heart with our head, the limits disappear.
If you were interested in this article and would like to receive more about a healthy lifestyle, join the Bodymente WhatsApp channel.