Have you ever noticed that some habits that people over 60 have are not well received by younger people? Whichever side of the scale you are on, you have surely realized that some behaviors that some consider normal are perceived by others as horrified. And vice versa. We are, perhaps, at the historical moment in which this generational gap is most noticeableand to a large extent it is due to the rapid advance of telecommunications.

And, as the psychologist Olga Albaladejo explains to us, “education is not static”, but rather it reflects “the culture and times in which we live.” So that “what was considered respect in the 60s or 70s, today can be interpreted as an invasion of personal space.” And years ago the priority was coexistence and formality, while today what young people value most is authenticity and autonomy.

“There is also a human bias that complicates everything,” adds the expert, “and that is that each of us lives what we do as ‘normal’ and we tend to think that it is others who are wrong. It is difficult for us to put ourselves in each other’s shoes«Precisely for this reason, understanding what we see as normal or strange depending on our age can help us reach a common point. And that is precisely what the expert proposes to us with these seven habits that those over 60 have and that bother younger people.

Calling without warning

“Telephonophobia,” some call it, and it refers to the anxiety disorder that can generate physical and psychological symptoms when trying to make or receive calls. And it is booming among the new generations! So, Olga explains to us, this act that «For the elderly it is closeness; for the young, a lack of respect for their time”.

And, with the digital revolution, the expert explains, “the codes have radically changed: digital immediacy means waiting for confirmation before calling or visiting; Public exposure on networks normalizes talking about oneself, something that was previously considered egocentrism; and young people value privacy and consent (for example, asking permission before uploading a photo of someone or before making a phone call).”

The example, says the psychologist, is in families. “Grandparents from before proudly showed the photos of their grandchildren in their wallets. It was a gesture of affection and social prestige. Today, publishing those same photos on social networks without consent has another repercussion and can bring unintended consequences. The same act (showing a photo) completely changes its meaning depending on the cultural and technological context.”

Comment on physical appearance

“How thin you are!”, “I see you plumper”, you can hear without complex from the mouths of people who are over 60 years old, or even younger. And, as Olga Albaladejo explains to us, these phrases before “They were understood as interest,” but “today they are perceived as invasive.”

This is one of the many examples that we can find that show this generational gap. For those who were born before“those customs were learned as synonymous with good education«, which causes an immense shock when someone questions them. Not talking about other people’s bodies has to do with reducing the impact we have on the self-esteem of others, and that’s great. However, when we question the person making these comments in a bad way, it is «almost like telling them that what they have practiced all their lives is wrong,» the expert explains to us.

And in all this “There is an emotional component«, adds Olga, so «many experience it as personal rejection, when in reality it is a change of social codes. And it is logical: the education we receive is not just external norms, but part of our identity.”

Insist that you eat more at a family gathering

“Before, it was a gesture of hospitality and care for others,” the psychologist explains to us. However“now it can be experienced as pressure.” As in the previous case, giving an opinion about how much others eat is no longer frowned upon, and it is a problem for people who were educated in another era.

In this case, cultural traits are also important. And, as Olga explains to us, “in Spain, for examplethe long after-dinner conversation and comments about the food are understood as closenesswhile in Nordic countries they turn out to be an invasion.”

Giving advice without asking for it

No one likes to receive advice that they have not received, but the truth is that many of us have the habit of giving it without anyone asking for it. A few years ago, perhaps, this did not seem so strange. However, Olga Albaladejo explains to us, today in day “young people interpret it as paternalism”, and it doesn’t feel good at all.

Interrupt conversations to tell your own anecdotes

Overlapping conversations are the daily bread of any family gathering involving several generations, but the way in which these are constructed can vary depending on age. “Before it was normal to interrupt«, the expert explains to us. It was a way to bring some humor to the conversation, to add something personal. «Today, however, listening and taking turns are more valued.”

Treat everyone to you

This is perhaps one of the big differences we find at the generational level. And although the youngest have forgotten the “you” and these polite formulas do not seem to exist in their vocabulary, for those born in the 60s and 70s they feel it as something natural. So what is a “sign of respect for some”, explains the expert, it can be interpreted as an “unnecessary distance for others.”

Visit without notice

Finally, a behavior that may surprise those who live in the city, but which is the daily bread in many towns: visiting without warning. If calling on the phone could be interpreted as an intrusion, imagine this. And once againwhat was “courtesy in another era,” explains the psychologist, “today generates discomfort.”

In this sense, the way in which generations are related is key to understanding the difference. And as Olga assures, “at the generational level, those who grew up without a cell phone value direct contact,” while “those who have always had it in their hand They understand planning and respect for personal space like true courtesy.”