We all know someone who, no matter how much we explain what they have done wrong, is unable to recognize their responsibility in any matter. He does not recognize his mistakes and prefers to throw balls out. Others are to blame for everything. He (or she) is just a poor victim, collateral damage.

Do you have someone in mind? Then this interests you, because at Bodymente we have consulted the psychologist Leticia Martín Enjuto about this curious phenomenonand the specialist has explained to us what traits these people usually share and why they are like that.

They fall into the bias of complacency

In psychology, Leticia explains to us, there is something we call “self-serving bias”something common in narcissistic profiles, but which can also occur in any of us. Like any cognitive bias, it causes us to see reality altered to a certain extent.. And it is one of the most common traits in those who seem incapable of taking responsibility for their guilt.

This bias, in particular, It makes people think that «if something turns out well, it’s because of their talent. But if it fails, they look for external excuses,» the author explains.. That classic “my daughter is so good” when things are going well at home that turns into “look what your daughter has done” when things go wrong is an unconscious example of this complacency bias.

When things go from light to dark and become a habit, the expert explains, The reasons are usually found in childhood. “For example, if a person grows up in an environment where they have not learned to manage their emotions or have received very harsh criticism, they may have developed these ways of protecting themselves emotionally.” In this way, “By blaming others it becomes a strategy to deal with the discomfort and insecurity they feel when they make mistakes”concludes Martín Enjuto.

They have difficulty managing emotions

Precisely the difficulty in managing emotions, as the expert commented, is another of the common traits in those who present a chronic inability to recognize one’s own mistakes.

“For some people, feeling guilt or shame is so overwhelming that they prefer to look the other way and blame others,” the psychologist explains. The problem is that “This can become a vicious circle.”Leticia continues, because “by not recognizing their mistakes, they fail to learn or grow from them.”

They are in very competitive environments

“We must keep in mind that the environment also plays an important role,” the psychologist also highlights. This is another trait that people who seem incapable of seeing their mistakes tend to share: survive in very competitive environments.

“In societies where success and perfection are highly valued, the pressure not to fail can lead people to avoid admitting their mistakes,” he explains. “This is especially common in highly competitive work environments, where reputation is everything.”

With all this in mind, the psychologist sends a message that should be remembered not only in the field of business, but also in the field of family or education. “It is important to foster a culture of responsibility and authenticity, only then will people feel safe to recognize their failures and learn from them, instead of hiding them or blaming others”Martín Enjuto resolves with a conciliatory tone.

They have narcissistic traits

Not all people meet this point, but it is usually common for those who are unable to recognize their mistakes to find themselves within one of those feared “narcissistic profiles.” And, according to psychologist Leticia Martín Enjuto, “Often this behavior is due to certain narcissistic traits,” among which the “tendency to believe oneself superior” stands out. and the “lack of empathy towards others.”

All these attitudes make these people “maintain an idealized image of themselves,” which leads them to “dodge responsibility for their actions.”. For this reason, the psychologist adds, “it is not unusual for them to resort to defense mechanisms such as denial or projection,” doing what you hate so much: blaming others so as not to have to take responsibility for their own mistakes.

Your relationships are in crisis

Although understanding what is happening helps greatly, the expert also reminds us that “this type of attitude can greatly affect relationships,” both on a personal and professional level. Therefore, as a general rule, Those who do not recognize their guilt end up having conflictive relationships and constant crisis.

Through one encounter and another with this lack of responsibility, “trust is lost and the environment can become toxic”the psychologist explains to us.

The ideal is to break this cycle for good, for which the expert recommends, in addition to cognitive behavioral therapy, “work on self-reflection”. Only in this way, and always “little by little,” explains Martín Enjuto, “is it possible to learn to accept one’s own mistakes and build healthier relationships.”

Meanwhile, Remember: you are not obliged to put up with anyone blaming you over and over again for what is not your responsibility.. Look for relationships in which you are respected.

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