Towards the end of his life, Sigmund Freud stated: «I have been a fortunate man, because nothing came easy to me.» By this he was referring to the multiple obstacles which he had to overcome as a pioneer of psychoanalysis in a very conservative society, in addition to the danger of being Jewish at the height of Nazism.

Difficulties are a touchstone to test ourselves and reinvent our reality. An existence without challenges or ups and downs is comfortable in the short term, but it usually leads to apathy and lack of objectives, since human beings only value and learn from what is difficult for them.

How to overcome obstacles in life

It is not on the smooth road where the lesson usually lies, but in the slopes and slopes of life. In the current times of uncertainty and provisionality, this article is an invitation to love obstacles.

Zen, which seeks to temper the body and mind, does not see difficulty as something to be avoided but as a training ground for the soul. Everything that costs us—being more assertive, disengaging from work, not seeking the approval of others—requires our attention and practice and is, therefore, the path that can bring us the most fruit if we delve into it.

Consider problems as the spice of life, what makes our passage through the world interesting, It may seem absurd but literature and cinema show that it is so. How many major movies or novels are there without a conflict at their center? Why aren’t we interested in what goes well and flows without friction?

Let’s think about classics like The Count of Monte Cristo either Casablanca. They base their plot on obstacles that appear in the lives of their protagonists and force them to go beyond your own limits. As viewers, we get excited about each dangerous scene and enjoy seeing how what seemed impossible ends up being resolved.

What is your attitude when faced with a difficulty?

If difficulties are part of the core of existence, Why do they sometimes cause us fear and discouragement?
The attitude towards obstacles changes from one person to another, and even within oneself depending on the moment in life one is going through. When a «Setback» with capital letters appears on our path, the usual thing is to respond in three ways:

1. Paralysis. We feel overwhelmed, lacking strength or resources to face what is happening, which leads us to immobility. At most we lament, blaming others or bad luck for our misfortune. This victim-like attitude does not resolve the situation and magnifies the problem.
2. Resignation. We accept the obstacle but without getting involved in overcoming it. Expressions like «what are we going to do to him» or «life is like that» certify an apathetic and passive attitude. The person who takes this option is limited to waiting for the downpour to subside to resume his life at the same point where he left it, which is impossible, since everything changes.
3. Challenge. It is the attitude of someone who sees the obstacle as an opportunity to do things differently and learn something new about themselves. Elite athletes, explorers, scientists or artists take difficulty as an extra motivation to improve themselves, although anyone can take on this rebellious and creative approach.

Within that third category, there are people with a special capacity to draw strength from weakness and turn your situation around, no matter how desperate it may be. They are inveterate optimists or characters that thrive on difficulties, which encourage them to give their best.

Resilience: the power to overcome setbacks

When we face a personal catastrophe, we talk about resiliencewhich is the faculty of overcome the great setbacks of existence.

Two references of modern psychology, Viktor Frankl and Boris Cyrulnik, They overcame the same drama: both survived concentration camps in which they lost their loved ones and, instead of anchoring themselves to bitterness, they responded with two formidable proposals. The first gave birth to the logotherapy and the second established the foundations of the resilience in his works.

It would be frivolous to say that these men loved the harsh tests to which they were subjected, but they did know find a use for suffering, since his activity was aimed at relieving the pain of others through enthusiasm and the search for the meaning of life.

Adversities are a school

Winston Churchill once said, «If you’re going through hell, keep going.» With this reflection, the English leader pointed to the changing nature of things. Life is a lot of roller coaster and, When we hit rock bottom, it is only to rise again.

Neither pain is permanent nor happiness lasts forever. This feeling of provisionality helps face obstacles, especially when we understand our life script as something dynamic and open to plot twists of which we are the authors.

A highlight moment in every process of personal maturation It is when we broaden our perspective and see life’s changing situations not in terms of limitations, but in terms of richness. With this spirit we stop feeling like victims of adversity as we integrate ourselves into a broader horizon.

You are stronger than you think

Every obstacle, once overcome, is equivalent to climbing a step from which we have a more generous view of the world and a greater knowledge of ourselves.

When we face a work problem, an illness or even a separation, the pain we feel in the face of a world that is breaking up is accompanied by the instinct of the castaway who tries to swim to the shore.

The main lesson of the school of adversity is that We are stronger than we thought. Obstacles force us to mobilize resources that we were not aware of having, so we get to do things that seemed impossible to us shortly before.

With the right attitude, going through difficult situations can end up becoming a privilege. As Antoine de Saint-Exupéry said in his book Night Flight: «Misfortunes are also part of our belongings.»

Enemies and teachers

Sometimes adversity does not come through an economic crisis or a health problem, but through a specific person who seems to oppose our desires, such as an opponent especially gifted and tenacious chess player. The question is how we react.

According to Maxwell Maltz, author of Psycho Cybernetics (Ed. Open Project), a manual that revolutionized personal growth in the 1960s, «we are made to conquer our environment, solve problems and achieve goals, so we will never feel satisfied unless life presents us with obstacles to overcome.»

In the field of personal relationships, this challenge can take many different forms, for example:

• A difficult moment in the couple, when friction makes coexistence a daily battlefield.
• The unreasonable demands of a boss or the incapacity of coworkers that hinder the day.
• Neighbors who seem to want to steal our calm, either because of the noise they make or, at the other extreme, because of their susceptibility to any of our movements.

In these situations that put our nerves on edge, the Dalai Lama assures that We should react with gratitude, since he who behaves like our enemy is in some way our best teacher: «By being with a teacher, we can learn the importance of patience, control and tolerance, but we have no real opportunity to practice it. True practice comes from meeting an enemy.»

The real obstacle is inside

Up to this point we have explored the difficulties as if they were external agents. However, many times the problem is not caused by a friend who interferes in our lives or the cryptic instructions of an Ikea piece of furniture, but rather oneself. As Muhammad Ali said: «Often it is not the mountains before you that exhaust you, but the pebble in your shoe.»

It is easy to blame others or the state of the world, but the great challenge of maturity is to detect and get rid of that little stone that damages our feet and prevents us from walking with joy and lightness. These are behaviors of self-boycott that we often overlook, such as:

• A irascible or hypersensitive temperament that makes us enter into conflict again and again.
• He habit of procrastinating, That is, postponing what we should do today or drawing up negative future scenarios so we don’t have to move.
• The precipitation to obtain quick results in any area – relationship, work, investments…

Knowing yourself better helps to free oneself from those or other behaviors that reduce our vital possibilities. This requires will and sometimes it might even be useful to do some type of therapy.

But being aware of what our internal obstacles are is the first step in the solution and perhaps also in the adventure of growing as people. This is an arduous task, because stagnant habits For years of repetition they are difficult to suppress, but at the same time exciting and full of rewards.

To complete it we must love the obstacles and trust in our strengths. As a Jewish proverb says, «I ask not for a lighter load, but for a broader back.»