In a previous article we talked about what it means to be with a man who has children with another woman, the adaptation process involved, what limits should be established and what happens with his ex-wife. But here we go a little deeper, since now we add that your partner’s daughter is jealous of you, a scenario that must be overcome with great caution and strategy.
The first thing you must understand is that you are an “intruder” in that girl’s life., you are probably the reason why his parents couldn’t hope for a reconciliation. Also the term “stepmother” is somewhat confusing and if that were not enough, perhaps she does not like it when you hug her father.
If at any time with your partner you have noticed that his daughter expresses bad gestures, refuses a favor, locks herself in her room or does not stop hugging her father, it is almost certain that she is experiencing jealousy towards you. The man’s role here is fundamental, because he must give you some tools so that there is a healthy relationship between you.and not necessarily wonderful or effusive, but healthy.
It all starts in that step, where the father of that girl must talk to her beforehand and inform her of your existence. The idea is to prevent you from being an unexpected surprise that she came home, she sat at the table and even goes into the kitchen, no, this is a serious and common mistake. Remember that when that girl is with her mother, it is almost certain that she will offer details and if your partner’s ex notices that her daughter is uncomfortable, the problems will be greater.
How to cope with your partner’s daughter when she is jealous of you
It doesn’t mean that they will hide the relationship or that they will play at being friends. This means that You present yourself as a person who is not coming to change the rules in that girl’s life.. That you don’t arrive like someone who comes to take up his father’s time.
You are a woman who is visiting, willing to share and above all who understands that perhaps your daughter is going through a difficult time due to the separation of her parents. And this is not said, it is expressed through your behaviors.
This is KEY! When he’s dedicated to the girl and it’s a father-daughter moment, Try not to join those scenes, because precisely there you become the intruder. Also, so she should respect when you want to be alone.
Formal and entertaining, focus on those two words. You could ask her about her preferences or another topic that your partner has advised you so you can share it with her.
If he mentions his mother and her virtues, which is very likely to happen, be happy with the comments.. In this way you show him that you are not looking to compete or replace anyone.
Children love it when a person solves some of their problems.. For example, the answer to a task, the missing piece of a puzzle, or how to beat level 42 of Candy Crush. These details will make you a fun person.
If you notice that the girl looks too serious, does not want to talk, or makes some protests and her father calls her out, You could intervene to express that nothing bad is happening and that it is not a problem.
But if it’s bad behavior, like slamming a door, yelling, or making an out-of-place comment, it’s necessary for your parent to call it out and you shouldn’t get involved. Once you are alone you can discuss what happened with your partner and discuss how they could cope if it happens again.