Empathy is one of the most important qualities to establish healthy and deep relationships.. However, not everyone has it, or not at all times. Encountering people who lack empathy, or who at any given moment are unable to empathize with how we may be feeling in our position, can hurt our feelings and make us feel undervalued.
Empathy is described as the ability to put yourself in the shoes of another. and to understand and share your situation, your feelings and your emotions. The people with a lack of empathy They are unable to understand or share the feelings and experiences of others. Sometimes they even lack the will to do so, or it is society itself that, due to more generalized preconceived ideas, favors this absence of empathy.
Dealing with those situations in which we do not receive empathy is not easy, but We must not settle for the feeling that we are not taken into account.
Characteristics of lack of empathy
Lack of empathy often leads to devalue the feelings of othersdownplay their emotions and even blame them for what they feel. It is not unusual to hear phrases like “it’s not that big of a deal«, «you are too sensitive» either «you have what you deserve”.
People with the most lack of empathy tend to be egocentric people who focus on their own feelings and what happens to them and underestimate the experiences of others. Instead of taking responsibility for their actions and how they affect their environment, They tend to blame others for how they have made them feel..
15 phrases to respond to a lack of empathy
If you feel that someone is not taking you into account or that their inability to understand and respect how you feel or what happens to you makes you feel bad, don’t settle and make them understand that your emotions do matter. Responding with assertiveness and empathy may be the best way to make people understand that your emotions do matter. These phrases can help you:
6. «I feel ignored when you say (or do) that.»
A clear and sincere way to show the other person how their lack of empathy is making you feel.
7. «I would appreciate it if you put yourself in my shoes.»
The lack of empathy is characterized precisely by the inability to put oneself in the other person’s shoes, and remembering this, in a kind way, can help the other person to reconsider and change perspective.
8. «Let me explain why this is important to me.»
People lacking empathy do not understand what the other person feels and sometimes that is not voluntary. Take some time to explain how it makes you feel. his way of acting and why he has hurt your feelings.
9. «I understand that you may not feel the same, but that’s how I experience it.»
With this phrase, you show empathy for their feelings and, at the same time, ask for empathy for yours.
10. «It’s not right for you to dismiss my concerns like that.»
Another phrase with which you will make your limits clear and prevent the other from continuing to belittle your emotions.
11 «Can we pause and acknowledge my feelings before moving forward?»
This phrase will help you stop the drift of a conversation in which you do not feel respected.
12. «Let’s stop for a moment and look at this from a different angle.»
Another phrase that will help you change the direction of the conversation and reorient it.
13. «Can we try to find common ground in this situation?»
Try to find common ground with the interlocutor is a good way to foster empathy.
14. «I value our relationship. How can we make sure we both feel heard and respected?»
Letting the other know that on our side there is appreciation, listening and understanding can help encourage the same attitude.
15. «Can we revisit this topic later, when we’ve had time to process our feelings?»
In order not to enter into a fruitless discussion, it may be necessary for us to give ourselves a time for reflection.