A family dinner that turns into a battlefield because someone clings to having the last word. A work meeting in which a discussion gets tangled to the point of exhaustion. A couple that, instead of looking for solutions, seeks to be right.
The examples that can come to mind are endless, but one thing is clear. When we get caught up in wanting to be rightwe are more concerned about defending our pride than finding common ground.
The question is, why is it so hard for us to give in? What price do we pay for always wanting to be right? Kant, with his lucid view of the human condition, summed it up in a Latin phrase that continues to challenge us today: «Sapiens commutare potest, stultus numquam», whose meaning is “The wise man can change his mind, the fool never.”
And true wisdom is not measured in arguments won, but in the ability to review our beliefs with humility.
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The trap of always being right
Our mind tends to fall in love with its own ideas. This is what psychologists call confirmation bias. We look for information that validates what we think, we discard what contradicts it.. The problem is that, by doing so, we close ourselves off from learning. We are much more willing to believe something that coincides with what we already think, than with something that does not.
This mental rigidity impoverishes us intellectually, and furthermore, wears out our relationships. The frustration of arguing against someone who never gives in is common among all mortals. Because the effort to always be right does not make us possessors of the truth, it only distances us, sows resentment and opens the door to silence.
Defending an idea at all costs can give the illusion of being in control, when in reality it locks us in the prison of pride. And of courseit doesn’t make us more intellectual, just more stupid.
The value of changing your mind
Immanuel Kant Gemaelde 1
Kant said it: The truly wise person is not the one who is right, he is the one who is able to change his mind. Because changing your mind means being able to overcome confirmation bias, and many other cognitive biases, to allow coherence to win the battle.
That is to say, far from being a sign of weakness, being able to change your mind is a sign of maturity. Because It involves recognizing that life is complex, and that we are too.
The wise man understands that your ideas are perfectablethat what seemed true yesterday can be nuanced today with new experiences.
The path to wisdom
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The great advances of humanity have always been preceded by a moment in which someone dared to rectify. Science, for example, advances based on hypotheses that are tested and corrected.not to ideas that are taken for granted without any verification. And when we believe that light is made of particles, we discover that it is also a wave.
Although rectifying is not only the best attitude for the intelligentsia, it is also the most reliable path to happiness. To begin with, because, as we have already said, stubbornness is not a good companion for deep and lasting relationships. But, in addition, Cognitive flexibility is one of the great predictors of happiness.
Being able to live detached from your ideas and beliefs allows you to adapt to constant changes in the environment, which allows you to improve your resilience and well-being in the long term. So the conclusion is clear: changing our minds makes us stronger, not more fragile. And it’s the smartest decision, no matter how you look at it.
Practice intellectual humility
Like everything that has to do with the human mind, theory is one thing and practice is quite another. We can be sure that intellectual humility is the best way to function in this world, and yet be unable to apply it. That’s why we’ve left you some tips to start changing your mind without losing your pride.
- Listen before responding. It’s not easy, but when we pay real attention and stop thinking about what we are going to answer, we begin to understand the other.
- Ask questions instead of imposing. Asking opens space for dialogue; impose closes it. So instead of assuming the other’s position and despising it, ask yourself curiously what their authentic arguments are, how deep their beliefs are, how deeply rooted their ideas are.
- Accept our partial perspective. No one sees the complete reality. Each person has an angle that can enrich ours, and none is better than another. Understanding that every truth can have several faces will help you not be blinded to your own perceptions.
- Remember Socrates. The Greek philosopher summed it up with his famous “I only know that I know nothing.” It was not false modesty, but the awareness that knowledge is inexhaustible. In fact, for Socrates the only way to achieve true wisdom was to submit to the Socratic method, which is nothing more than asking and answering in a conversation in which there is genuine interest in answering and asking.
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