There is no doubt that there are people who, for one reason or another, do not have the best social skills. These people They tend to make certain clumsiness in interactions, such as saying things that are out of place.ro bring up conversation topics that undoubtedly make the rest of the conversation participants uncomfortable.

And, as psychologist Leticia Martín Enjuto explains for this medium, “the way a person expresses themselves and engages in conversation largely reflects the level of their social skills.” When these skills, which are learned behaviors that can facilitate contact with others, are not developed, Dialogue tends to be characterized by “certain patterns that generate discomfort or lack of interest in those listening.”

For the expert, the key is to identify these issues not to make a judgment, but to “recognize that they frequently respond to insecurity, social anxiety and/or other behavioral patterns.” And of course, if you feel identified with some of these topics, you can ask for help to improve your social skills. And, in the opinion of our collaborating psychologist, the themes that reveal poor skill in social skills are the following.

Too personal

ISTOCK

You are in an informal meeting, with people you don’t know very well, and suddenly someone starts describing their last colonoscopy in great detail. Without a doubt the topic was too personal for context. This is, according to the expert, one of the main signs that someone does not have many social skills.

And, according to Leticia Martín Enjuto, “a common difficulty in social communication is sharing intimate or delicate matters in environments that do not allow it or with people outside the close circle. Revealing private details without proper context can lead to awkwardness and distancing.representing difficulty in understanding and respecting interpersonal limits and non-explicit social norms.”

With constant repetitions

ISTOCK

Another common classic among people with poor social skills is to repeat the same topic of conversation over and over again, stopping at “trivial, repetitive or insignificant matters”like talking insistently “about the weather or daily routines without depth,” reveals the expert.

“Although these topics can serve as a start to connect, getting stuck in them shows a lack of flexibility in communication and a lack of willingness to enrich the dialogue,” explains Leticia.

Focused on the person themselves

ISTOCK

It is also common to meet people who seem unable to talk about anything other than themselves. And although it is easy to confuse these people with egocentric or narcissistic profiles, psychologist Leticia Martín Enjuto also includes them in the category of people with poor social skills.

“One of the most obvious signs of deficiencies in social skills is focusing the conversation solely on oneself,” he declares for this medium. And it is that “talking only about one’s own experiences, concerns or achievements reveals difficulty in promoting a balanced and reciprocal exchange”.

And no, the expert emphasizes, “this does not always come from egocentrism, but rather many times it is a consequence of not knowing how to ask questionsactively listening or showing interest in others.”

To this unwise choice of topic, the specialist points out, we can add an “abusive dominance of conversational exchange.” That is, dominating the conversation excessively. «A good interaction involves alternating turns, openness to listening and mutual validation. When one of the participants dominates the conversation, without space for the other, an imbalance is created that can deteriorate the quality and enjoyment of the dialogue”says Martín Enjuto.

With a specialized language

ISTOCK

In the pure style of Sheldon Cooper in big bang theoryanother trait that can determine that someone has poor social skills is that their conversation topics revolve around very specialized language. For the expert, this is a clear sign that conversational skills have not been developed.

“There are those who frequently introduce complex, technical or very specialized topics, without considering whether the interlocutor shares the interest or understanding necessary. This can be perceived as a lack of empathy and turns the conversation into something rigid,” he explains for this magazine.

Generating continuous confrontation

iStock

Finally, we all know that certain topics always end in confrontation. Politics, religion, economics… These are topics that, except in certain circles, it is preferable to avoid. However, those who have few social skills can ignore these social conventions, falling into the trap of focusing their conversation topics on rocky ground.

This can get even worse if, in addition, as the expert explains to us, that person turns “conversations into a scene of constant disagreementcorrecting or imposing their point of view without space for dialogue.”

From his perspective, «this behavior is usually related to insecurity, mental rigidity or an excessive desire to control the situation. As a result, the interaction becomes tense and unpleasant, negatively affecting relationships. Knowing how to dialogue implies accepting diverse opinions without having to constantly dispute.”

Another type of negative conversationalist is the one who focuses on constant criticism or complaining. «A speech dominated by complaints, criticism or victimhood is another common trait in those with social difficulties. Although expressing discomfort is valid, chronically focusing the conversation on the negative hinders interaction and reflects problems in emotional managementcombined with an unconscious search for support that often ends up alienating others,” concludes the psychologist.

If you were interested in this article and would like to receive more about a healthy lifestyle, join the Bodymente WhatsApp channel.