Have you ever done the exercise of identifying what you were missing in your childhood or taking stock of this period of your life? If you have reached that level of consciousness, you may “reparenting” or giving yourself what you did not receive as a child is a useful tool. We tell you how to do it.
Childhood is the time when each person’s subconscious mind is formed. That is, we learn how we process emotions, what relationships are like, how to maintain boundaries, and countless other habits and behaviors.
Most people who begin a path of self-knowledge have gone through evaluating their parents. The relationship with these figures greatly shapes the way we see the world.
Realizing that we have been raised by imperfect human beings is a big part of the journey, but the task with us definitely does not end there. To stop acting from the ancestral patterns that we carry or from the wounds that were done to us, we must heal.
For many people to do this is to understand that Parents can only be parents from their own level of consciousness and that we must give ourselves what others did not give us.
That is what reparenting consists of, which has 4 pillars: Discipline, Joy, Emotional Regulation and Self-Care.
Psychologist Nicole LePera, who works as a therapist, explains on her blog The Holistic Psychologist that there are 5 steps to get started:
1. Breathe: Reparenting is a process. It’s not something that happens overnight. If you try to do too much of this work at once, you will feel overwhelmed and fall back into old patterns. Meanwhile, she breathes.
2. Keep a small promise to yourself every day: so small that it seems insignificant, but you know that it is not for you. Some good examples are: meditating for 2 minutes, taking a 5-minute walk around the block every morning, cooking a meal at home every day, journaling about the future every night before bed. Time is important here – don’t choose any pledge that takes more than 10 minutes total.
3. Tell someone you trust (other than your parents) that you are starting the process: Your parents did the best they could with their level of consciousness and will probably get defensive if you talk about this. Reparenting is for you, but telling your partner to someone you love can be helpful.
4. Ask yourself “What can I give myself right now?”: When you feel strong emotions, ask yourself this question. It’s okay if when you start asking this question you feel confused or like there is no answer. Just keep asking. It is a practice of connecting with intuition. It could be taking a bubble bath, disconnecting from social media, or going out in the sun for 15 minutes.
5. Celebrate your victories: validate yourself, own your progress. Celebrate the person you are becoming.
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