We only have the present. Everything we can do and therefore enjoy is here, in the now. Don’t let it escape by longing for the past or projecting into the future. Life doesn’t wait. You only truly live when we make it our own, when we discover ourselves, trust, bet, make mistakes and start again.

The importance of enjoying life to the fullest

It is true that facing the challenge of our daily lives seems increasingly difficult. It is true that The temptation to return to safer places in our past is at least as tempting as letting our fantasy fly to the idealized world of the future.where our dreams come true. And this statement is as true for us as individuals as it is for our couples and our families. It is also like this for our town or city, for our province and, many times, even for our country. The world is truly a complicated space because it is not what it was nor is it what it will be; It is what it is here and now.

This combination of words, here and now – to which the wonderful and brilliant creator of Gestalt therapy, Fritz Perls, paid attention more than fifty years ago – has been used so lightly in recent times that it can be said that it has progressively lost its original force. Especially because merchants of illusions, cheap publicists and politicians in bad faith have appropriated it, depriving it of its real meaning.

The routine that chains us

Every year many men and women come to my office, as well as to all my colleagues, whose biggest problem is experiencing the feeling that, having achieved everything they ever wanted, they cannot enjoy it. They talk, cry and complain; They lament “what they should have enjoyed in the past if they had realized what they know now, what they should have enjoyed at that time.”

These people are certain that this situation has no remedy because it is too late; However, they come to the consultation thinking about everything they are going to enjoy the day they overcome that problem. Away from the present, these patients permanently suffer what most of us sometimes suffer, oscillating between the frustration of “how nice it would have been if…” and the expectation of “how nice it will be when…”.

Living in the moment, or living in the future?

Let’s give an example of this situation. Let me imagine you in an unlikely situation. Suppose you belong to the Anterograde club – that’s what the “how nice it’s going to be when…” are called. And let me flatter our egos by stating that this morning you woke up with a fierce desire to read our magazine. Due to this characteristic that I have just attributed to you, I can assume that You have not been able to enjoy the breakfast that someone loved has prepared for you with love because you were thinking about how much you wanted to read our articles.

However, now that you are reading them, you cannot fully enjoy the long-awaited reading either, since – almost without meaning to – you are thinking about how fantastic it will be to be able to share these concepts with your friends Joaquín and Eulalia, with whom you have met for dinner tonight at a restaurant that you have long wanted to visit. Let’s imagine that dinner is spectacular. And the truth is that you could have completely enjoyed it if it weren’t for the fact that during the evening you haven’t been able to stop thinking about how good it will feel when you can get home so you can go to sleep, since you are exhausted today.

But if you really belong to this club, you should not get your hopes up too much about this moment because, surely, when you are in bed, it is very likely that you will not be able to sleep thinking about the amount of work that awaits you the next day. A job that, by the way, you love and that would be much more pleasant if it weren’t for the fact that, while you work, you spend the day calculating how much you need to raise the money that will allow you to access the credit for the apartment you want to buy. Although I correctly sense that, when you manage to live in the apartment, it will be a source of very fleeting joy because you will soon think about how fantastic it will be when you no longer have to pay the mortgage… Shall I continue? Better not.

Let’s abandon anxiety to achieve our dreams

The world, I told you, is what it is. And in it, whether we like it or not, I am who I am today, and you are the person you are today. Everything that we have been depositing in our lives in the past or everything that we can imagine about our future is today, only, a memory or a fantasy and, as such, they do not exist in tangible reality. The real world, the one that contains us and to which we belong, is only the present and is the only true one.

However, anchoring in the present does not mean dispensing with experience. Rather, it consists of learning not to be a slave to it, but we will talk about that another time – and now don’t keep thinking about how nice it will be the day we talk about it. Don’t interpret that you don’t have to have projects either, because it’s quite the opposite..

By living in the present I mean giving ourselves to our plans as a challenge that allows us to be surprised by everything; live every moment and every experience without anticipation, without conditions, without fear. I’m talking about projecting ourselves into the future, but without actually living in it. I’m talking about being at peace with the past to stop turning to it for excuses and justifications.

Someone might believe that this difference is subtle, but it is not. And the consequences of mixing these two ghosts with the reality of the present can sometimes be funny, but other times dramatic.

I remember that when I started studying psychiatry, the world seemed to conspire against me, since everyone told me jokes about crazy psychiatrists and even more crazy patients – or was it the other way around: crazy patients and even crazier psychiatrists? One of those jokes is very relevant:

A supplier of medical instruments was visiting a psychiatric sanatorium in the middle of summer. From the small terrace where I was having tea with the director, I watched the patients, in swimsuits, climb the diving board next to the pool. From above and to the spirited cry of “How beautiful Thursday will be!”, they threw themselves headlong, one after the other.
The visitor, a little surprised by the unanimity of the “war cry”, was encouraged to ask him:
—Why do they all say the same thing when jumping? What happens on Thursdays?
The director slowly poured himself some more tea and replied:
—I don’t know about other Thursdays, but this Thursday they will fill the pool with water…

Here and now. We can now understand, in their essence, these two words together. They point out that to live, it is necessary to be anchored in the present, given that the only true life is one that takes place in the time and place where each of us is.

Valuing the present as it deserves

The present is the result of everything we have experienced and is always our best momentespecially because it is the only moment on which we can really act. At this moment, we can ask ourselves: What is missing, what is necessary, what is the path to learn to act appropriately in this fleeting and eternal moment that is the present? The first condition to enjoy life more is to realize that life, with all its difficulties, is worth it. That is, realizing that the difficulties of our existence are also worth it: the suffering, sadness and pain that we experience.

It is worth insisting, creating, trying, failing, starting again, building and sharing. It is worth living, here and now, without postponements. And even more so if we are willing to bet, almost blindly, on what is next, on the future, on the rest of our lives, which, as the song says, begins today.

To finish, I leave you this poem that I wrote many years ago and titled “Brevity”:

I was born today at dawn
I lived my childhood this morning
and about noon
I was already going through my adolescence.
And it’s not that I’m scared
let time pass me by
so fast
It just worries me a little
think maybe tomorrow
I be
too old
to do
what I have left today
earring.

12 steps to bring out your best version

Life is like a journey towards self-realization and, like all paths, the reward does not wait for you at the arrivalbut you enjoy it every step you take. This is a small travel guide that aims to make it easier for you.

1. Get to know yourself better

Knowing yourself means taking the time to connect with what you believe, think, feel and are.beyond what others would like. If you know who you are, you will recognize yourself in your actions and take responsibility for them. In the following article you will find many clues.

2. Learn to listen to what they say about you

As the Talmud says: “We have two ears and one mouth to remember that we must listen twice as much and speak half as much.”. I’m talking about active and committed listening that analyzes and understands without judging. We often despise what we do not know for fear of admitting our ignorance.
If you learn to listen to what others see in your attitudes and say about you, you will know the aspects of yourself that are hidden in places blind to your own gaze.

3. Decide your freedom

Freedom referred to the internal process of autonomy and not to the vulgar and lying concept of “being able to do whatever everyone wants”. Freedom consists of the possibility or the right that each person has to choose one (and sometimes more than one) of the alternatives that are presented at a given moment. You are responsible for your decisions, therefore, you are free to stay or leave, to say or remain silent, to insist or abandon, to take risks and to look for what you need. Freedom is the ability to choose as much as possible and to assume the cost of your decisions.

4. Order the external and internal

To reach your destination and not lose your way, you need to prioritize what is important over what is accessory.we need to be patient in our demands and prioritize the big things over the small things. Freedom and the ability to let yourself flow are not incompatible with putting some things in order. If we intend to end up taking care of everything, it is essential to start by putting the first in its place before taking care of the last.

5. Open yourself to love

There is no personal fulfillment without the ability to feel loved and to love intensely, committedly and selflessly.. Open yourself to interest in the well-being of others, whether it is your child, mother, partner, neighbor or someone you don’t know. I am convinced that to reach the goal of self-realization it is essential that we be able to cultivate, at least, a relationship with someone who is not only important to us, but who also manages to let us know that we are important to him; someone we can love and feel loved even in disagreements.

6. Choose good companies

Choose your traveling companions well and do it with your heart and not with your head. We live in a competitive and consumerist society that makes it difficult for those around us to enjoy ourselves. We live in a hurry, we seek immediate pleasure. TO…