How long should you date someone before formalizing the relationship? There are many preconceptions about this topic, whether it is too soon, whether it has been a long time, whether you should do one thing or the other. This is what the experts say.
In our modern world social media and dating apps don’t make it any easier. You start dating someone and their intentions may be unclear, they may be seeing more people, etc.
Bring to the table the phrase “what are we?” It may be cliché and uncomfortable, but it is still necessary. Relationship psychologist Claire Stott, currently a data analyst at the dating app Badoo, told Insider that After a couple of months of dating, you’re entitled to some answers.
“It is socially acceptable to talk about exclusivity after a couple of months. You might do it sooner, maybe because the other person is totally on the same page.»
Claire Stott
Author and speaker Teresa Lodato, who previously worked as a dating coach, told the same outlet that before getting formal it is important to get to know someone and get an idea of how they handle different situations, such as stress, family and friendship dynamics, jealousy and anger.
«You want to experience a relationship with them to see how they handle the holidays, tax season, vacations, the flu, and anything else that happens over the course of a year.»
Teresa Lodato
Relationship expert from the dating app So Syncd, Jessica Alderson, indicated that before becoming exclusive you should Discuss life goals and whether both of your future plans complement each other.
This does not mean that their life goals necessarily have to be the same as yours, but it does mean that they can be complementary.
Do you both want to get married and have children? Where do you both want to live, the city or the suburbs? Lifestyle is also important, because while it’s good to have different hobbies and interests, you want something in common.
These questions can be difficult to address when you’re getting to know someone because they feel intense, but it’s best to address them from the beginning.
Additionally, Alderson said that both religion and finances can be sensitive topics, but they are quite important in the long run. It is not necessary to delve too deeply into these topics at the beginning: understanding and listening to each other is enough in the early stages.
In summary, If you date someone three times a week, you might get to a point where you’re happy to be exclusive sooner than the suggested two months. If you really like each other, you’ll probably see each other more often anyway.
But, if someone isn’t taking the time to get to know you properly, they probably aren’t that interested and there may not be anything to formalize.
You may also like: