It’s very easy fall into the trap of judging ourselves with extreme hardness. Without having the complete photograph, the perspective that only the passage of time gives us, we tend to think that the consequences of our actions will be abysmal, that we are making mistakes at every step. That we should do better, that we should be better.

The problem is that, with the passage of time, years, experience, looking back reveals that the greatest mistake we were making was not being compassionate with ourselves. That is what Elvira Lindo, one of the greatest contemporary writers of our country, has discovered now that she can look back to observe the course of her career.

A different time

When Elvira Lindo decided to leave her job and dedicate herself to writing, things were not like now. At present, a decision like that would be unthinkable. “Everyone knew that he lived well”the writer told The newspaper in 2023, on the occasion of the publication of his book In the den of the wolf. “Imagine now, no one would do that, you would even write in the time you have left,” he continues.

Although these were different times, his decision was not well received by anyone around him. She herself experienced the decision with “a lot of fear,” she says, “without knowing what my schedule was, or my life, or anything, just the time I had to go pick up the child from school”. Her husband, Antonio Muñoz Molina, endorsed her. That her husband was a writer was also a source of criticism.

But eventually Elvira left her well-paid job as a screenwriter, her respected role in the world of radio, and launched herself into the world of literature. In 1998, Manolito Gafotas was born.and the rest, as they say, is history.

The constant judgment

In the words that Elvira Lindo shares with The newspaperthere is something that is clear. In all that time, as he turned his life choices, As he faced his first success and his first criticism, his worst enemy was his own mind.. Because whatever resonated outside multiplied inside.

The author demanded of herself, as many of us do, high excellence at every step, at every point in her career as a writer.

“The day I finished it [Manolito Gafotas] I went to Gran Vía, and I met a very famous writer, who told me: ‘I came to Gran Vía because I just finished a novel.’ And I thought: ‘How can I tell him that he just finished another one, if mine doesn’t matter.’ You’ll think: ‘How typical, paired with a famous writer…’ And I didn’t say anything,» Lindo recalls in her interview..

The fiercest criticism lived in his head. “I have always been very self-punitive, and it was like what I did was less important,” she adds. “I was the one who earned the most money, but I was the one who did less important things.”

All of this was replicated when the author made the leap to the “adult novel,” The other neighborhoodand once again when he worked for five years in Summer redswhich, the author defines, “was a completely shameless thing.” Self-criticism always accompanied her. And that, precisely, is the only thing the author regrets.

Embracing self-pity

Those who embrace perfectionism and cling to self-punishment can argue that, Without him, Elvira Lindo would not have written works as wonderful as those her pen has given us.. And you would be wrong.

in his book With an open heartElvira Lindo confesses that it took her half a lifetime to look at herself with compassion. And he regrets that it was that way. “The only nostalgia I have is not having started to have compassion for myself sooner, not having treated myself better”he explains in the interview. «There are many chapters of my life that I have not liked to go through because of how uncompassionate she was towards me. That is what is most difficult for me.»

In the present, the author approaches her life from a completely different perspective. Try to look at yourself with some compassionhe confesses. «One of the things that I have already been able to isolate and generate as a kind of commandment in my life is: try not to do harm. And there are times when I confuse not doing harm with having my will too,» he says.

Hers is a path, like that of so many others, of continuous learning. But if one thing is clear, Elvira Lindo, it is that there is no point in punishing yourself for past mistakes.. The important thing is to always look at each other with compassion, treat each other as if we were our best friends.