Extended in time, Resentment is one of the most toxic human reactions and harmful that exist. It has no emotional benefit and, furthermore, consumes energy and prevents us from moving forward as people.

Resentment is harmful both physically and emotionally. Like a kind of post-traumatic stress, resentment keeps the brain stuck in the pastinducing us to relive, over and over again, the damage they did to us.

Effects of resentment on health

When, for prolonged periods of time, we accumulate emotions such as resentment or anger, our body continually remains in a state of physiological state of alert (fight/flight) which is not, at all, beneficial. Hormones such as cortisol or adrenaline are releasedwhich increase breathing, heart rate and muscle tension, preparing the body to attack or defend itself from the supposed threat.

Resentment poisons usIt literally poisons the brain with toxic hormones and neurotransmitters. The brain enters a state of constant alert, which increases the likelihood of suffering aggressive or excessively impulsive reactions.

Also, holding a grudge for a long time can affect the hippocampusarea related to memory and learning.

Resentment as part of the grieving and healing process

Many people get stuck in resentment.constantly remembering and amplifying offensive situations and nullifying any possibility of healing.

When we have suffered an attack or an offense, it is common to feel some degree of resentment or anger. This is an absolutely normal reaction. What is not healthy is staying stuck in this resentment that prevents us from maturing emotionally.

In order not to get stuck in resentment, the emotions experienced must be brought to light and healed. In fact, in therapy we always pay a lot of attention to express pain, anger or resentment accumulated by all the abuse received in the past. We do it in consultation, in a safe and controlled situation. This is a essential step to leave the past in its place and be able to move forward.

Part of this therapeutic process involves understand the circumstances that could have led the people who harmed us to behave as they did, but not to justify them, but to work and release resentment.

Once freed, we can emotionally evolve toward understanding, compassion, and, if necessary, indifference or distance from people in the past who harmed or offended us.

Avoid resentment without allowing abuse

As we have seen, holding a grudge forever is detrimental to our emotional health. But resentment cannot be eliminated or blocked. We cannot forget the offenses received and act as if nothing had happened because we would be doing ourselves even greater harm.

By blocking resentment we would be denying our own self and our own emotions and, in addition, we would block the capacity for learning and maturation, running the risk. risk of allowing similar offenses again in the future.

Carrying out healing work on our emotions, resentment becomes learning which warns us of possible situations similar to the past (people who want to abuse or harm) so as not to make the same mistakes again.

How to free yourself from resentment

Lidia came to my office showing great doses of anguish. He was not happy, he wanted to make many changes in his life, but the resentment and fear of receiving past damage againprevented her from moving forward.

As always, in therapy we work to understand where your emotional damage came from. Part of this damage originated when, when she was very young, Lidia’s father went to live in another country and abandoned his family, without saying a word.

The impact of this abandonment was tremendous. in Lidia’s life. Over and over again, I relived the anguish, fear and anger I had suffered.

In therapy, we work to free Lidia from her anguish and resentment. After achieving Disengage from the emotions and sensations of the pastwhich brought so much toxicity to her daily, the young woman was able to propose changes in her life.

She no longer felt terrified of being abandoned. I didn’t feel paralyzed and needed to wait for my father’s return. In this way, Lidia was able to get her life started and move forward.