The duel for the imperfect, the encounter with the unconditional

If we think of our personal development, the relationship with our mother serves as a pattern for the relationship with ourselves.

As daughters, we absorb information about what she felt to herself, what she felt towards us, and what she felt towards the world.

We learned to treat ourselves in the same way that our mother was treated.

Our task as conscious women lies in transforming the internal mother into our psyche created from our biological mother with her human limitations in the mother that we always needed and wanted.

We can become the mother we always wanted – he had ourselves.

In this way, we are able to accept the limitations of our external mother, because our internal mother becomes the primary mother with whom we can count, in which perhaps we have never been able to count on our external mother.

Our mother could only love us in the way she could love herself.

At one point, we must face the fact that our mother could not and will not be able to meet our needs in the way we needed and wanted. This means going through a grieving process. A duel for the way we had to compensate and suffer the maternal wound.

In the grieving process, we have the opportunity to realize the fact that if we feel loved or abandoned it was not because of us. Only then can we abandon the fight to demonstrate our worth in the world. In the grieving process, we can also have compassion for our mother and the burden it carried.

By healing your internal mother, you transform your life beyond what you can imagine.

When confronting this pain, we can realize that what we thought was our pain is actually part of our mother’s pain that we have taken for love. Now we can choose to leave this load. In this way, instead of mitigating our feeling of guilt, we can feel confidence in our bodies and in our hearts in order to develop a sense of authentic fullness and self -esteem.

By becoming the mother «good enough» for ourselves, we free ourselves not only to ourselves, but also all those who make up our life.

It is a challenge to recognize before us in which we were not loved in our relationship with our mother. Remembering and seeing how loaded and overwhelmed we could think that we were the source of their pain. This «guilty daughter» can keep us stagnant. One way to free our guilt is to recognize the innocence and legitimacy of our children’s needs. It is a way to free ourselves from shame and baptize ourselves in our goodness and divinity.

Once we have crossed the duel for ourselves, then we can begin the duel for our mothers and for all women.

The duel replenishes and strengthens us.

As women, we can heal and give us what our mothers could not give us. We can become our own source. The «body pain» of the female collective is healed one by one. And as female body pain cures, the same goes for the pain of the human community. Our own healing is not just a gift for ourselves, it is also for the world.

The mother’s wound is a great opportunity.

As we allow ourselves to contact what it feels like an ancient hunger, inexhaustible to an inexhaustible mother, we give birth to ourselves in our true identity- the matrix of light- an inexhaustible source, overflowing with love and abundance that does not depend on the circumstances or conditions. Then we can live at the service of what we really are- love itself.

Author: Bethany Webster.

Bethany Webster She is a writer, coach and lecturer … she introduces herself as a «midwife», and her work focuses on helping women heal the maternal wound to be able to display all the power and potential of each one. More information on your blog: http://womboflight.com

Original English text published in Elephant Journal

Spanish translation by: , Mónica Manso and Isabel Villanueva