There are couples of people who are not in love but who get along well: they share some things in their lives, they form a team in front of the world, they have beautiful memories together and they enjoy each other’s company. It happens, for example, to some couples who have been together for many years. They are not in love, maybe they were, but they love each other very much.

However, what happens when one of the two people is very much in love and the other is not? When love is not mutual, the person who is in love suffers. Maybe at first it doesn’t happen because the other person still has hope that the romantic miracle will happen, but sooner or later it starts to hurt.

It is inevitable: one of the most painful experiences that human beings experience is not being reciprocated when we fall in love.

When the scales of love are not balanced

In couples in which the feelings are not mutual, a series of enormous conflicts are generated, especially when one of the people involved does not realize that the other person is not in love: either because the other person is pretending, or because they prefer not to face a painful reality.

When you are not in love and your partner is, Time passes differently for each one. Maybe you don’t have as much need to spend many days together, you don’t have the same desire, you don’t give yourself to the same extent as the other person.

And it’s easy for the other person to protest when they don’t feel cared for, don’t feel loved, or don’t feel important in their partner’s life.

The rhythms are different when we fall in love, also the intensity: that is why it is normal for the person in love to feel sad and ask us to make an effort to nourish and care for the relationship.

It is as if we were in the same boat but each one had his own rhythm and rowed with different intensity: we do not advance, we do not sail, and We are left spinning around ourselves without being able to escape.

Make a decision with your heart in your hand

When the reproaches multiply Because one of the two people is not in love, when the relationship begins to hurt, it is important to consider whether it is possible to build a relationship in this situation.

We have to do it honestly and trying to use empathy to put ourselves in the place of the person who is in love and who suffers for us. If the other person is having a hard time, then it would be best to leave the relationship.

Ask us if it is fair for the other person to live with the unrealistic hope of becoming loved one day.

Maybe we feel comfortable and want to continue a relationship in which we feel comfortable. But even though we need company, You have to put yourself in the other person’s place, be honest with ourselves and with our partner and evaluate if there are conditions to love each other well and to enjoy both. And if there aren’t any, it’s best for everyone to follow their own path.

I think that assuming that there is no falling in love requires a lot of courage and a lot of generosity. In reality, I think it is a proof of love, a demonstration that we care about the other person, and that we want to take care of them so that they do not suffer.

If you love yourself, let him go

When we are the ones who decide to leave a relationship in which we do not feel reciprocated, we must also be brave: giving up a relationship that hurts is an act of self-care and a demonstration of love for oneself. It does not compensate us to be in an unequal relationship in which one person gives more than the other, is more involved than the other, and receives less from the other.

It is not worth it for us to wait and see if one day the other person falls in love: Generally, if it does not arise at the beginning, it does not usually arise later, when routine arrives and conflicts arise.

We have to take care of our partners and take care of ourselves: if there is no reciprocity, if we do not vibrate at the same frequency, if we have different desires, if we cannot connect on a deep level, if the spark of love does not arise, then the most sensible thing is not to continue the relationship. You can always try, in the future, to build a nice friendship.