In today’s society it is increasingly common to hear phrases like «Success is only achieved by seeking perfection» or «there is only one way to improve yourself: pursue excellence.»

But, Is it really useful to be a perfectionist? What are the benefits and sacrifices of those who seek to achieve perfection? ¿Someone can get sick simply because you like things well done?

Why perfectionism can be a problem?

Perfectionism is a character trait that allows you to achieve very satisfactory goals and face the challenges that life brings.

But when that quality becomes a existential purposewhen someone applies it to everything they do and surround them, can become a great enemy of your own well-being.

A very high level of self-demand can make the person marked objectives that require titanic efforts. The admiration he arouses encourages him to continue on that path, but the desire to improve does not end there: the perfectionist needs to keep raising the bar.

The problem comes when your achievements begin to be worthless and your hard work does not bring you a minimum reward.

Prisoner of this dissatisfaction, the perfectionist will be stubborn to try to continue improving what is unbeatable.

Situations of that type can have physical repercussions. For example, the intransigence decreases adaptability and flexibility before the change. An individual with this profile will perhaps be more prone to suffer muscle contractures (inflexible) or repeated tendonitis (difficulty of adaptation).

When no space is given to the mind To express themselves freely, human beings may seek another way to express themselves, and in that case pathologies as diverse as migraines, high blood pressure, allergies or even some types of cancer.

What are perfectionist people like?

Perfectionism is considered an obsessive trait of personality. It is observed in methodical individuals, with persistent concerns about issues of relative importance.

perfectionism can manifest at different levels and with various degrees of intensity. There will be those who tend to express it from a very young age.

This is the case of Juan, an eight-year-old boy, about whom his mother comments that You can’t go to bed without having organized your stories.. Obviously this is not pathological, but it warns us against a rare feature and that can germinate over time.

There are those who can develop that character by life circumstances. A traumatic event or a very precise profession can add a certain degree of perfectionism who could be considered rather careless.

In any case, something has made it emerge that piece of iceberg lodged deep inside. In this regard it is interesting to see how education and love influence that a child receives from his parents.

When a child constantly gets applause for how well he has performed an action, he knows how to continue to like us. If this approval persists, that child may feel more loved and valued for what he does rather than for what he is, and that can determine his future.

What is the origin of perfectionism?

There is people who are proud to always do things brilliantly. But sometimes, behind that hard-won armor, fears, complexes or even needs are hidden as utopian as wanting to have everything under control.

When faced with a perfectionist trait, what will help prescribe an appropriate remedy will be discover the reason that motivates him. Why this need to do it so well?

Often the answer will be: for fear of failure. Fears, well interpreted, provide the homeopathic doctor with very valuable information to try to cure the patient.

Put order and leave nothing without prediction provides security and apparently the feeling of vulnerability disappears. This defense system we use it many times unconsciously to deafen fears as deep as the fear of illness, accidents or death.

Other times, after that effort to want to please or be liked, low self-esteem hideswhich must be concealed with an iron control of emotions and showing a permanent infallibility that makes others and oneself believe how much one is worth.

And it is not unusual for someone to be a perfectionist to hide your «big secret»which should never be seen, perhaps because it has created some complex.

Perfectionism and coexistence problems

It is difficult to live without a certain level of self-demand and personal improvement.

What’s more, someone who receives the label of perfectionist is probably a very honest and responsible personadmired for her level of commitment.

But perfectionism taken to the extreme can cause a lot of problems not only to those who suffer from it, but above all to those who live with him.

When someone believes that they are performing all their actions in a sublime way, they will soon not be satisfied with this and will demand that their collaborators at work, or even at home, try to do everything as well as they do.

In the family environment it can be a nuisance to live with someone who loves everything to be impeccable, who rarely appreciates the efforts of others because you consider that they could have done better, or that it is unable to enjoy at your son’s birthday party because someone forgot to buy candles for the cake.

Furthermore, in some cases, his dedication to his work He rarely spends time at home and, when he is, he has priorities to think about for the next day.

How to learn to make mistakes?

Achieving success in life is not possible without making mistakes. Of those who we can say have succeeded, we can also say that on more than one occasion they have failed and, above all, that they have learned from his mistakes.

But learning to fail is not easy, it is a process that requires patience and persistence. In any case, you should start by trying:

• Don’t let the recurring ideas linger too long in the head
• Do not delay decision making
• Trust otherslearn to delegate responsibilities
• Reduce the degree of control about what’s happening around

This last one is the most difficult, especially at the beginning, because can cause concern who likes to have everything under control.

Benefits of leaving perfectionism behind

When experience shows that life goes on as well or better that before, despite not having complied with that strict marking of everyday situations, we will be able to find a more comfortable and relaxed space without our commitments having been harmed by that.

If there is something that those who have a high degree of perfectionism miss, it is spontaneity. Wanting to have everything under control, in addition to being exhausting, does not leave room for an experience as healthy as acting without barriers.

Whoever has lost that source of satisfaction will have little chance of relaxing his spirit and, in turn, of discover new challenges and horizonsinfinitely more comforting than the monotony of a day to day without error.