Looking someone in the eyes can be something natural and beautiful, or it can become very disturbing depending on the circumstances. It is precisely in those moments, when we speak with someone who forces that eye contact, that makes us feel uncomfortable.when we ask ourselves… What does it mean when a person doesn’t look away when they talk to you?

The problem is that, as with everything that surrounds the world of body expression and non-verbal language, there is no single answer. And as Eva García Ruiz, expert in non-verbal communication and pioneer in synergology in Spain, explains, “it is very easy to fall into the cliché.” But when it comes to interpersonal relationships, there are no valid clichés. We must analyze each case to fully understand what is happening. So if you want to know why that person stares into your eyes while talking to you, you’ll have to keep reading.

The simplest answer

As the famous principle of simplicity says, the simplest explanation is usually always the correct one. And in this case, the person who is looking at you so deeply is simply being themselves.. «There are people who have a very intense look,» García Ruiz clarifies, «and it is simply their look. They look like that and that’s it.»

This is the first case that we have to rule out before jumping to conclusions.. Is that deep look that has disturbed you natural in this person or an exception to the rule?

There are times when this deep looking can even be stimulating. The problem, Eva explains to us, is when “In addition to not looking away, we have a look with very little blinking, in which the eye remains very fixed.” These types of looks, the expert says, can be very disturbing. But once again, we can blame nature.

“There are people who blink a little, and their gaze has no meaning.” per se. We call that type of look printed on a statueand it can be a habitual way of looking,» the director of the Spanish Institute of Synergology clarifies. On many occasions, things are simpler than they seem.

When we should worry

Although in many cases this deep look has nothing worrying, there are circumstances in which it should set off our alarms. “There is a case,” García explains to us, “in which it can be a sign of lying.”

Surprising to hear that a glance held during a conversation can be synonymous with lyingbut this is what the expert warns us, who assures that not looking into the eyes is synonymous with dishonesty is nothing more than a popular belief.

“They usually tell me ‘as soon as he looks away from me, I know he’s lying to me’. That’s not the case, Detecting lies is much more difficult, it has nothing to do with whether they look away from you or not.”, Eva assures us.

In fact, this act of looking away, like holding it, can have much simpler explanations. “People look away for many reasons,” says the expert, “because they have to search for information in their memory, or because they are more shy, because it is more difficult for them to keep their gaze, for whatever reason.”

It is easier for someone to be lying to you when they look at you than otherwise.. Because, as García assures, “a fixed gaze, without blinking, along with another series of body movements, can be an indicator of lying.”

The look of the one who seeks to convince

The key behind this deep analysis that the synergology specialist offers us is that a deep and forced look may have the purpose of convincing. This does not mean that the person you are talking to is trying to tell you a lie, but it does mean to make you see that their story is real.

In many cases it can be the result of a kind of hypercorrection. «There are people who try to be more convincing, and they do it precisely because they believe that looking away is an indicator of lying. So, To be more convincing, they hold your gaze excessivelywhich is when it is annoying, when you notice that there is something forced,” says Eva in the brief interview she had with Bodymente.

However, when this gesture is accompanied by overacting, things change. “If, in addition to looking deeply, he is very overreacting when speaking, we have to be suspicious,” warns the expert. Although even in this situation, he points out, we still do not have all the indicators. “More body signals have to be given, and you have to interview him to detect the lie technically”continues. For a home analysis, however, this signal should raise suspicions. “Either he is lying to me, or he is overselling my idea,” says Eva, “he is too interested in getting his message across.”

Other suspicious gestures

These types of deep looks attract attention for a simple reason. As we can read in The Economist and as the clinical psychologist explains Robert A. Lavine, On a day-to-day basis we only maintain direct eye contact 3% of the time. Excessive contact, therefore, sets off alarms.

The psychologist Paula Martínez Barrala specialist in cognitive neuroscience, also confirms this for Vanityensuring that “A fixed gaze, without blinking or looking away, can be interpreted as an attempt to control the situation or mark territory.”

If this look is accompanied by a slight movement of the eyebrows, he continues, we may be looking at a subtle show of interest, an attempt to establish an emotional connection. Dilated pupils, for their part, are associated with attraction or a high degree of interest, and excessive blinking is associated with nerves, discomfort or the feeling of being exposed.. Finally, Martínez Barral assures, squinting eyes can indicate an attitude of defense or distrust on the part of the person looking.

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