When Dr. Kathryn Ford, a relationship therapist with more than 20 years of experience, explains under what conditions it is appropriate to take time as a couple and how this stage should work, it sounds like an excellent idea in a love relationship that suffers from multiple complications. However, There are more perspectives that are far from the theoretical or what is “properly correct.”.
Coach Jorge Lozano, an expert in dating and relationship issues, does not take the stage with good feelings, but rather as moving towards a terrain from which it may later be very difficult to leave or go back. In his most direct words: “That plane won’t take off again.”.
To explain it in more detail, He compares a formalized relationship, that is, one that already has a name, with a plane taking off to begin its flight..
“The plane does not land again until it reaches the destination. In fact, airplanes have a term and it is that when the plane is taking off, it reaches a speed at which the pilot says: ‘any problem that arises in the process we will fix it in the air’, because you can no longer stop it,» said.
In this sense, point out that asking your partner for time (or vice versa, having your partner ask you for it) “It’s like landing the relationship and waiting until we are all happy again to take off again. Well, for me it’s not going to take off anymore.».
“It is very difficult for when the plane goes down, it rises again and everyone has a happy flight”Jorge Lozano reiterated.
Jorge Lozano’s opinion opposes “the stage of the relationship” proposed by Dr. Kathryn Ford with the famous “give me time”
For the couples therapist, asking for time in a relationship is usually taken as an “act of lack of love and against nurturing a relationship.” However, she assures that when the couple knows how to use their closeness and distance, they become a “very important part of intimacy.”
Taking time with your partner is wise first when both agree or at least admit that it is necessary.. And this stage involves a process of investing in your own self-discovery and pursuing personal goals.
Dr. Kathryn Ford reiterates that Taking the break can offer benefits in some cases, however, it also clarifies that it could lead to a consensual breakup.. This is bad? For the relationship, yes, of course, but it should not have a negative impact on your personal growth and improvement.
In short, Jorge Lozano has a more radical perspective when he states that any relationship where a couple asks for time will never be the same and a plane will land that will hardly take off again.
For her part, Dr. Kathryn Ford sees it from her point of view as an opportunity for self-growth that offers two possibilities: improving as a couple or bringing an irremediable break to the relationship.