You are browsing the social network and curiosity led you to check your husband’s friends. “Carolina”, “Sonya”, “Samantha” and “Eva” were recently added. Now insight invades you and you need an explanation that you don’t know where and how to find it.
It is normal that for a few moments you think that your man is unfaithful, or that he is at least preparing, but the reality can be very different. Social networks are a common enemy of the couple if there is no trust and communication.
Clara is a 30-year-old woman and has been married to her husband for 8 years. She recently feels sad because she notices that Robert, her partner, is adding women to her friends list on her Facebook, some of them scantily clad.
Not understanding the intention, she decided to ask him if he knew them, to which Robert responded “no.” This made Clara angry, because she didn’t see the point, but her husband’s reaction was: “You can review the conversations and you will see that I have nothing to do with them.” She decided not to.
The scenario continued to repeat itself and Clara doesn’t know what it means or how to talk about it with her husband. Some of the added women are pretty, they even look like models, which makes her noticeably uncomfortable.
What does it mean when my husband adds women to Facebook?
Juan Tonelli, Argentine writer and motivational coach, understands Clara’s position, who feels devalued and disrespected. However, Robert’s behavior She associates it with a need for freedom based on the control she wishes to have..
“Human beings have a thousand ways and opportunities to have adventures, But it doesn’t mean they’re having it.»he stated for the portal In couple. In his analysis he expresses that adding women to Facebook is so similar to sitting at a table, having a beer and watching more than 100 women pass by with whom he could have started a conversation, but did not.
From his point of view, Tonelli indicates that the only difference is that the 100 women he saw continue to be hosted on his Facebook list, at his complete disposal, the point that really causes concern.
If it becomes a repetitive attitude and the woman realizes it, The situation can become a shared obsession: your husband adds and you investigate. But unfortunately there is no dialogue, since the “unfaithful” act of posting a comment or compromised chat has not arrived.
Finding an exact meaning depends on the man, his partner’s way of thinking and the relationship itself, probably sexual quality or simply an act of leisure. However, If under any circumstance you feel uncomfortable or disrespected, you should ask them to stop..
Impulsive reactions never find a solution, especially if there is no evidence to justify it. Photo: Freepik
And how to speak it?
If trust abounds in your marriage, the conversation should begin naturally. A “we need to talk” or “I want to talk to you” They are expressions that cause an anticipated expectation. It is preferable to start with “I want to tell you something” or “I have a concern and you can help me.”
When you pose what happens, Do not label their behavior as a “mistake,” but rather an action that causes you discomfort or discomfort., especially because it has been repetitive and you inevitably found out. Your husband will take care of whether or not he realizes that he was wrong.
Another way to put it is to reverse the scenario and ask him if it would bother him.. If his answer is affirmative, which we hope for, just ask him not to do it again and end with a delicious question: Do you promise?