When we describe the types of mother-in-law that could touch you in life, there are some that are much more complicated, because they want to control the relationship, get involved in topics that they shouldn’t, manipulate you with the grandchildren and even put your partner (their child) in trouble. your against If you presume that yours is a narcissist, we tell you 8 signs that she really is.
If you have decided to marry your sweetheart or are in a serious relationship, you have also become involved with his or her family and although there are some exceptions, the truth is that many relationships between mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law tend to be complex.
In fact, a study conducted by psychologist Terri Apter concluded that 60% of women who had this type of conflictive relationship with their partner’s mother branded them as hostile. While more than 50% of mothers-in-law said they felt uncomfortable with their son’s partner.
Some of The reasons why this happens is that on the part of the maternal bond, the mother fears losing her child. She competes with her son’s partner to see who she gets.
They are irrational fears that are combined with many factors. such as the fear of being alone or abandonment. They also tend to set high standards or expectations about who their son’s partner should be, and if the daughter-in-law does not comply with her idea, it triggers rejection towards her, which may be conscious or unconscious.
Of course, all this can lead the daughter-in-law to have feelings of rejection by her partner’s family and feel that she is not welcome in that family, since she is unconsciously afraid of not being able to maintain the relationship.
Narcissism is a personality disorder found in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders DSM-5. It seems to be on everyone’s mind lately, with several books and countless blog posts and videos dedicated to the topic. However, It may be more difficult to attribute the distinctive traits of a narcissist to your partner’s mother since it seems “impossible.”
If you feel that your mother-in-law is characterized by a grandiose sense of self-importance, a lack of empathy for others, a need for excessive admiration, and the belief that she is unique and deserves special treatment, your suspicions are not in vain.
Dr. Seth J. Gillihan, a licensed psychologist who specializes in mindful cognitive behavioral therapy, noted in his column to Psychology Today 8 signs that a person is narcissistic, in this case your mother-in-law.
It should be noted that her article was aimed mainly at caregivers such as parents, but it can be perfectly extrapolated to the figure of the mother-in-law.
1. Exaggerate your abilities or achievements: his actual abilities do not come close to his own image as someone with truly exceptional talent. Part of getting puffed up might involve tearing yourself down.
2. You are constantly chasing dreams of unlimited success, power, beauty or brilliance: He craves the recognition he feels is long overdue and is concerned about achieving his outsized goals.
3. She sees herself as so special that she should only be around other high-status people: Your mother-in-law says she surrounds herself with “gifted” people; they often label the people they associate with, including their children, as “perfect” or “geniuses” to feel more special. They also want to partner with high-status or elite institutions and organizations.
4. Demands admiration: They have a very fragile ego, which becomes evident every time they perceive a slight. Therefore, they require constant validation of their actions and simple presence.
5. He feels entitled to give you orders: A narcissistic mother-in-law acts as if the rules don’t apply to her, and they constantly push for exceptions. She can become enraged whenever someone does not bow to her wishes and commands.
6. They can exploit other people: A narcissistic mother-in-law may ask you to help her with a project they are working on, even if it interferes with your own work or plans.
7. Lacks empathy: Aligned with the above, they cannot recognize the needs, desires, priorities or even the entire personality of others. All your energy and attention is focused on your own well-being.
8. She envies others and believes that others envy her: It can even extend to your children.
If this is your case, you can It may be helpful to talk to your partner about the narcissistic traits you recognize in her mother, and consider whether it might be helpful to talk about her thoughts and feelings with a therapist. to find the right way to set limits and have a good relationship.
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