Friendship is very intense during adolescence. As experts such as Professor Diana Al Azem or Sara Desireé Ruiz have explained to this medium, at this stage young people change their focus from their parents to their peers.. The most important thing is to fit in with your peersand this can cause more than one complicated situation.

Understanding it, however, is essential to be able to act accordingly. That’s what Olivia Rodríguez, coach family and expert on adolescence, tells us from her social networks. Because, he assures, There are many things you would have liked to know before about friendship.“and now I want my teenager to know.” This is the greatest gift we can give them.

Quality better than quantity

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It is often said that “quality better than quantity«, but no matter how much we repeat it, sometimes we forget. And our teenagers are exposed to hundreds of content (series, videos on the internet, movies) in which being surrounded by many people is a symbol of success and status. The most popular is the one who has the most friends, he is the coolest. He is the best.

And at this stage of development, it is not surprising that the youngest aspire to have more friends than anyone else. Therefore, the coach Olivia Rodríguez recommends reminding teenagers that “You don’t need to have many friends, you only need those who do you good. The amount was never important. The peace you feel with them, yes.”

No need to compete

We live in a world that teaches us to compete. Have the best grades, be the best athlete, be the most beautiful, the smartest, the best. And it is difficult for our teenagers not to end up falling into this vicious circle that, in reality, does no one any favors.

Although we cannot prevent them from acquiring a certain competitive spirit, which, when managed in a healthy way, can be positive, we can remind them that this type of behavior damages friendship. This is how the expert on adolescents summarizes it, who through her social networks reminds us that “True friends don’t compete with you, they celebrate your achievements.” and “if someone gets upset about your achievements, they are not a real friend.”

Be careful with humor

A sense of humor can unite us. There is nothing more pleasant than sharing laughter with the people we love most. But we must not forget that laughing at the expense of others is not good under any circumstances. It is a behavior that encourages bullying and harassment situations, and we must teach from home that it is not desirable in any friend.

“Not everyone who makes you laugh loves you well«, explains Rodríguez, and adds a warning to his words: «Be careful with those who use ‘humor’ to humiliate or control.»

Friendship is authenticity

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There is no way to build any relationship if it is not on the basis of authenticity. This is what the expert Brené Brown tells us in her book The gifts of imperfection. Only when we feel authentic and vulnerable can we connect with others, and this is a great lesson that we must all learn throughout our lives.

For our adolescents, Olivia Rodríguez recommends, basic learning is: “If you have to stop being you to fit in, that’s not where it is.”Because “friendship is not a disguise, it is authenticity.”

Learn to let go

“Learn to let go of those who don’t want to walk with you. Some friendships don’t last forever, and that also growsr», the family and adolescent expert concludes her list of recommendations. And this, unfortunately, is a lesson that we sometimes have to learn in adult life.

Not all friendships last forever, and there are times when they don’t even have an end as such. They simply dissolve over time. Accepting this is important, because clinging to the idea of ​​an impossible and ideal friendship can do a lot of harm to our teenagers. On the other hand, understanding that maturing involves leaving behind people with whom we no longer have as much in common can help them grow without fear, without anxiety, and without resentment.