if you think you know what is infatuation, science has a revealing explanation; you will understand why you feel butterflies in your stomach.
You go out with someone. They have dinner. They dance. They kiss. They start seeing each other frequently. They share experiences and all of a sudden you start thinking about him when he’s not there. You look in the mirror, because you don’t know why you act like a teenager and you wonder why is this happening to me? What you feel is love? We’ll see.
Although many people might think that falling in love and love are synonymous, the truth is that from a psychological point of view the first is specifically part of relationships, while the second has many variants, such as love for one same, brotherly love, love towards children, etc.
You have gut feelings. It doesn’t make you hungry. Just thinking about him (which you do uncontrollably all the time) makes your body tremble. You see it and your legs loosen. You don’t know it, but when you look at it your pupils dilate. You want to hug and kiss him all the time. You fantasize about a future together. You get upset if you don’t know anything about him. He rings the notification bell on your WhatsApp and makes millions of butterflies flutter in your stomach.
Then you realize: you are falling in love.
But what is infatuation?
In his academic article Compression of infatuationthe Spanish psychiatrist and neurologist José María Mora Montes explains falling in love as a process far removed from the use we make of the word: married women and «in love» who leave their husband for their lover, couples who separate because they no longer feel “in love”, brides left at the altar because the groom was not “in love” enough, etc.
According to this specialist, this feeling is the manifestation of erotic love (sexual desire) and is characterized by irrational, idealizing and blind to the defects of the couple.
How long does infatuation last?
According to this author, its end comes with living together, at which point the passion subsides and each member of the couple begins to think more about himself; Other authors indicate that lasts about 2 yearswhen dopamine levels are regulated.
“Dopamine has a leading role around love. This is mainly released in the cerebral cortex, the basal ganglia and the limbic system. Dopamine acts at the level of the central nervous system and causes the release of norepinephrine, the main responsible for the effects of falling in love, and oxytocin, known as the “love hormone”.
The clinical psychologist from the Universidad Javeriana André Didyme-Dome explained to us.
However, this does not mean that all relationships are doomed to fail; some couples are able to maintain the magic and passion for many years and, in any case, the end of falling in love is not the end of loveit is only a change in its erotic manifestation.
Tell us, Do you think it is possible to remain in a state of infatuation indefinitely or do you think it must always end? Write what you think in the comments, and share this note!