In some families, grandchildren and grandparents tend to have a very special bond, to the point that they are considered a second father or a second mother. However, in other scenarios it seems that this connection does not work or is lost, so you might think that your son simply does not love his grandmother.
Dr. Rocío Pedraz de Juan, of Spanish origin and with extensive experience in pediatric care, explains that the rejection of a child by his grandmother could be sudden. Maybe at the beginning, when he was a child, they got along great, but then it changed from one moment to the next.
“If your child is rejecting visits from his grandparents, it is important that you do not ignore him. There could be a reason behind this behavior and it is important to address it to maintain a healthy relationship between them.suggests the specialist.
What do I do if my son doesn’t love his grandmother?
Talk about it naturally, without sounding like a scold or showing obligatory affection. Simply ask him why he doesn’t like her or rejects her.
“Listen to their answers carefully and try to understand. “Sometimes children feel overwhelmed by the attention of grandparents.”argues Dr. Rocío Pedraz de Juan.
If he doesn’t want to see his grandmother, don’t force him or impose “that’s your grandmother and you should do it,” because you will end up breaking the bond further.
A good idea is that you organize family activities in which grandmother can attend, but make sure there are more people so it’s not like “visiting grandma.” At least you’ll be able to bring them closer and who knows what will happen.
Regardless, if it is your mother or your mother-in-law (both grandmothers), talk to her and Share that you are doing everything possible to make your son change his attitude. Also, make it clear to him that you can’t force him, but that you will keep trying.
Another good idea is that, from a distance, the grandmother has some gestures with her grandson: sending him a candy, a letter or a fun invitation. While it does not guarantee success, it is a great attempt.
First separately. One where the grandmother can attend and express everything she feels to the professional, and then a session for your son, where she can answer some key questions.
It is important that you do not force your child to attend therapy. If you definitely do not want to go to an office, bring the therapist home and introduce him or her as a friend. This way you can evaluate your child’s behavior as soon as the topic of grandma is brought up..
And if you decide to attend the office, it is essential that the professional express to your child what his grandmother is feeling.
Rejection and the few or non-existent signs of affection from your son towards his grandmother is not normal. Unless some episode happened that they haven’t told you about, he would have no reason to behave that way, so he also evaluates if you missed any anecdotes.