How to overcome an infidelity, a lie or a betrayal of your partner

It’s natural to want to know why your partner cheated on you, but there is rarely a simple answer to why someone cheats and that is that it could be a symptom of other problems in the relationship, for example, it could be related to something in the past of the couple or could not have any relationship with you or with the current situation that they live together.

Either way, no matter the cause, you’ll have a lot of complicated feelings to work through and a lot to think about as you decide how to move forward.

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These tips can help you cope with the aftermath of infidelity, cheating, or betrayal:

accept your feelings

Shock, agitation, fear, pain, depression, and confusion are normal. You probably feel like you’re on an emotional roller coaster for a while.

It takes time to get over the pain of having a cheating partner. Don’t expect the mixed feelings and mistrust to go away, even if you are trying to forgive your partner and repair the relationship.

Things have changed and it’s natural, just as it is natural to regret the relationship that was had before the deception.

don’t seek revenge

Being betrayed or betrayed by your partner can cause anger. In your state of anger, the first instinct may be to punish the other by speaking ill of that person with your friends (or worse, on social networks), oiEven think of having an affair to get revenge.

You may get a temporary sense of satisfaction from these kinds of actions, but they can ultimately work against you, keeping you in a state of anger instead of focusing on healing and moving forward, alone or together.

Think twice too before telling your family

They are likely to have very strong opinions about what you should do, and many times very strong opinions and comments are delivered, or huge confessions that are hard to forget later.

It is certainly good to seek support. However, nobody really understands what happens in the privacy of another person. That’s why while you’re looking for a way out, consolation or solution, it is better to keep the details private.

try to take care of yourself

You may have some physical reactions due to stress, such as nausea, diarrhea, trouble sleeping (too little or too much), shakiness, difficulty concentrating, not wanting to eat, or overeating.

Once you get past the initial shock, do your best to eat healthy foods, keep to a schedule, sleep regular hours, get some exercise every day, drink plenty of water, and yes, have fun.

Avoid the blame game

Blaming yourself, your partner, or someone else won’t change anything and is just wasted energy.

Try not to play the victim either, if you can help it, or to wallow in self-pity.

It will only make you feel more feeling of helplessness and feeling bad about yourself.

keep your kids out of this

If there are children they have nothing to do with the sentimental relationship of the parents.

This situation it is between you and your partner, and should not involve the children.

Even if you have decided to end your marriage, sharing details about an affair or telling them unnecessary details will only put your children in an untenable position, causing them anxiety, making them feel caught in the middle and forced to take sides.

seek advice

Do not try to overcome infidelity in the solitude of your thoughts. Before making any decision about whether or not to end the relationship, it is advisable to talk to a specialist, because they will be neutral and can help you understand what exactly happened.

In addition, when there is support in the mediation of the conflict you can ask your partner questions and share your feelings without losing your cool.

make things simpler

If you suspect that the affair will most likely lead to the end of the relationshipgive some practical thought to things like where you will live, whether you have enough money to pay for essentials, and, if you have children, what kind of custody arrangement you want.

You may also consider asking your partner to get tested for Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) and get tested as well if you have had sex during or after the affair.

Take it easy

Infidelity is one of the most difficult challenges a couple can face, but it doesn’t always mean it’s the end.

As they work through the aftermath over time, it will become clear how to move on so they can begin the next phase of life, either together or apart.