Are you too complacent? These are the fights you give daily and that only you will understand

Here are nine situations all pleasers can relate to…and how you can avoid getting into them so often.

1. Say yes to things you don’t want to do

Most pleasers end up overcommitting, but whether it’s a girls trip to Vegas you know you can’t afford, a baby shower you’d rather not attend, or an extra project you know you don’t have time to handle at work , try adopting «no» from time to time. He’ll probably end up having to drop at least one of the engagements anyway, which is why he was ultimately beaten early on.

2. Never bluntly reject a guy or girl who keeps asking you out.

That person keeps pestering you, you keep saying nicely that you have plans or a dance class or a children’s hospital to build. Just tell him you don’t like him that way, but you’re still very flattered! The flattering mention is the specialty of the smart pleaser. There are many nice ways to say it: «it» is «no».

3. Paying more than you owe when the bill comes

Group dinners can be hell when it comes time to pay. You always end up throwing more than your fair share just to relieve the tension of, «We still owe them $68.50.» But sorry, if you had one beer and the guy next to you had six, you shouldn’t have to pay the same amount. Stand your ground, Madame Niceties, and calmly remind them that you only had one drink. The world will not stop turning if you keep what is rightfully yours. Or just find some richer friends.

4. Always feeling the need to put the shopping cart back in the designated place

Well, come on, this is just a common courtesy. If this makes you a people pleaser, wave that flag proudly.

5. Talking to that annoying person on a plane

Do you want to sleep; They want to speak your damn ear. You reply politely, then start to nod when you’re exhausted from replying. Bottom line: you owe them nothing except courtesy around the armrest. Don’t feel compelled to become best friends on the plane with Debbie from Cincinnati.

6. Rushing to finish a transaction

This applies when you’re making a transaction and the person behind you is stomping, sighing heavily, and biting down on the brake to place your order. There’s nothing wrong with taking the time to place your credit card, change, or receipt in the designated spot, and then closing the wallet properly. Don’t feel pressured to just randomly throw everything in your bag because this jerk behind you can’t wait five more seconds. And don’t even hesitate to ask for extra guacamole if you realize you forgot after you paid.

7. Being too nice

You say pizza is fine when you really want sushi…or anything but pizza. She agrees to split dessert even though she’s trying to be sugar-free. He wants blue curtains, you’re looking for gray ones… but give up because you don’t want to seem too needy. This could go on forever until you marry the wrong man, live in a neighborhood you hate, and have a job that’s completely wrong for you. Give yourself permission to start small by agreeing not to compromise on some things; it will be healthier for you in the long run.

8. Not defending yourself

This can happen when you see your cell phone bill being overcharged, but you don’t feel like you have the right to question Sprint. Or maybe you find a new mystery fee added to your latest dry cleaning receipt. There’s no shame in wanting answers about these things, so let go of that need to please and get to the bottom of it. Unfortunately, people will take advantage of the too lean back type of person.